The New Year is a time of celebration. Fireworks burst into color, and people are excited about the “new”: new year, new resolutions, new goals, new you.
But is this really what you want.? To become a new person? Are your resolutions coming from a place of lack rather than from a place of abundance?
Resolutions and goals often are set too high. They have expectations to change our lives too drastically and too fast. So ultimately they are doomed to failure.
Do you find yourself making the same resolutions year after year with little results? This can build a pattern of failure that gradually erodes our sense of self- confidence. Instead of the new year resolution making us feel better, we ultimately feel worse or do not feel anything at all.
So why do we fail at these goals? Is it because they tend to be superficial and not really what we want deep down inside? Is it because we are lazy and not willing to work hard enough?
Achievements take dedication, effort and work. So you better have a strong motivation that comes from a deep internal desire rather than a superficial motivation that does not connect with what is really important to you.
Success isn’t a result of spontaneous combustion.
You must set yourself on fire.
~Woody Allen
After the celebration, take some quality time for contemplation in a quiet place away from distractions. What really motivates you? What is it that you really want? What do you really love to do?
Instead of making lofty resolutions doomed to failure, what can you do that will guarantee success? Can you make your goal small enough and meaningful enough that you will remember to do it and not find excuses to avoid it. Little steps lead to bigger steps over time.
Confession: my desk is usually a mess. I have multiple piles of projects, reminders, information that I want to remember, books I am reading. For me to make a resolution to keep my desk organized and clean all the time is doomed to failure.
Instead I can choose to simply my resolution into something I can do. If I throw away one item from my desk that I no longer need every day, my desk will be less cluttered. And it may happen that on a few of those days, my desk gets a good cleaning. Inevitably my desk will clutter up again, but I also know that I can keep it under control. It does not have to be perfect.
What is really behind the motivation to clean my desk? It is to feel less overwhelmed with everything I want to do and need to get done. I want to feel good about what I am accomplishing. I need to make part of my goal giving myself credit and recognition for the progress or completion of my projects and acknowledge that I am doing something to reduce the clutter and overwhelm.
It is okay to change your resolution if you find that you are not sticking to your goal. Maybe it is not really important to you. Find something that “lights your fire”. Don’t let making mistakes distract you from your goal. Mistakes are part of the learning process.
Love and compassion are necessities. Without them, humanity cannot survive.
~Dalai Lama
When your goal or resolution for the new year is fueled by love and compassion towards yourself and others, every little success of yours makes the world a little better. And that is the best outcome you could hope for.
